Estate Planning Reminders for Holiday Gatherings

Nearly 55% of U.S. adults don’t have an estate plan in place, and when no clear plan exists, probate can consume 3–7% of an estate’s value and stretch on for months or even years. Even more striking, 58% of families without a plan report disputes after a loved one’s death. These numbers are a reminder of how essential — and loving — estate planning truly is.

The holidays offer something rare: family members of all ages gathered around the same table, sharing stories, meals, and traditions. These warm, meaningful moments naturally spark reflection. And while estate planning isn’t the typical holiday topic, these gatherings can provide gentle, quiet opportunities to talk about the future.

It’s normal for these conversations to feel uncomfortable at first, but approaching them with calmness and empathy can bring everyone greater peace of mind.

Questions Adult Children Can Ask Their Parents

Sometimes adult children hesitate to bring up estate planning, worrying it will sound intrusive. Framing the questions as a desire to support and prepare can make the conversation easier:

Do you have an up-to-date will or trust in place?

Who have you chosen to make financial and medical decisions if you’re unable to?

Have you shared your wishes for medical care and end-of-life planning?

If something happened tomorrow, would we know where to find your important documents and accounts?

Are there heirlooms or traditions you’d like us to know the stories behind?

Do you feel confident that the people you’ve chosen to handle your affairs are still the right ones?

Questions Parents Can Ask Their Adult Children

Parents often want reassurance that their children are prepared, too. These questions can open a thoughtful, two-way dialogue:

Do you know where to find my important documents in case of an emergency?

Have you considered creating your own will or an estate plan?

If you received an inheritance tomorrow, would you know what to do with it — or who to turn to for help?

Are there family keepsakes or traditions you’d be heartbroken not to have carried forward?

If you had to step in to help us — financially or medically — what support would you need?

Why These Conversations Matter

Estate planning isn’t just about assets — it’s about clarity, compassion, and reducing stress during difficult times. It means ensuring loved ones know your wishes, preventing misunderstandings, and passing down not only belongings but the stories and values attached to them.

For adult children, these discussions help avoid confusion and stress later. For parents, they encourage the next generation to think ahead and protect their own families.

How to Bring Up the Topic Gently

A holiday gathering doesn’t need to turn into a formal meeting. The best conversations often happen during a quiet walk, while washing dishes together, or in a calm moment after a shared meal. A simple “I’ve been thinking about the future lately” or “I want to make things easier for everyone someday” can open the door.

A Gift of Clarity and Care

Talking about estate planning now — even briefly — can prevent confusion, legal issues, and emotional strain later. It’s one of the most meaningful gifts families can give one another: a plan that reflects love, clarity, and intention.

If you’re unsure where to begin or want guidance in navigating these conversations, consider reaching out to a trusted advisor who can help you take the next step with confidence.